Why was your personal credit score and related items low / derogatory when initially applying for the EIDL Loan, and what have you done since the decline to reverse our decision / increase your score to be reconsidered for the loan?

Help me study for my Writing class. I’m stuck and don’t understand.

The first sentence of your introduction should be a hook — a particularly interesting anecdote or quote that will set the tone for your story. The remaining part of the narrative essay introduction should be dedicated to why you believe this story is so significant and what the readers will be able to take from it.

Follow the Narrative Format to include the following;

  • Characters (at least one)
  • Setting or scene
  • Plot
  • Conflict
  • Resolution

Background information: On May 21st, I applied for an EIDL Loan and was declined May 22nd due to fact of a low credit score of 524. The narrative essay needs to explain that prior to 2016 my credit score was 700+, and I was a W-2 employee with year end earnings over 100k. After being recruited / persuaded by State Farm Insurance Company to open an agency based on the notion that within 3 to 5 years my income would double / triple. I made the decision to leave my executive position to better position myself financially, but after the upward and downward swings that my business was succumb to, my financial reality was less income with personal and business expenses surviving off one paycheck. The following life events from May 2016 to May 2020 have led to my credit score dramatically decreasing;

  • Identity theft
  • Loss of salary, transitioned to 100% commission
  • Business start-up expenses exhausted my reserved savings
  • Year 1 & 2 business on-going monthly expenses such as payroll, and marketing exceeded new & renewal capital
  • Marriage
  • Birth of 3 Children

Business Goals: My agency goal upon receiving the funds are to continue to pay rolling my staff members, rent, marketing, and continue my overall business operations.

Please incorporate the real life steps I’ve outlined below to correct my credit profile into the narrative essay story.

Personal Credit actions I’ve taken to repair my credit and increase the score since the decline;

  • Consolidated all student loans with one provider and lowered loan interest rates.
  • Disputed late payments with Navient and Department of Education / Nelnet by telephone and hand written letters.
  • Paid off 1 of 2 collection and requested file deletion from all 3 credit bureaus.
  • Hired Lexington Law to further do a deeper dive into credit repair.
  • Requested a family member that has an immaculate credit profile / score to add me as an authorized user to one of their credit cards to help with my credit mix, credit utilization, and average age of accounts.
  • Signed up with Self Inc. to build a new 12 month payment history.
  • Put upfront money on secured credit card and start tradeline reporting.

Business Credit actions I’ve taken to establish credit and receive reporting from newly acquired tradeline accounts;

  • Signed up NAV.com to monitor my FICO SBSS score for future SBA loan aspirations.
  • Also I signed up NAV personal and business credit monitoring to more closely review my scores and alerts on a monthly basis to illustrate more responsibility to my financials actions / decisions moving forward.

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