Revision–Needs Editing

Help me study for my English class. I’m stuck and don’t understand.

Please see the following attachment and make the suggested revisions from the instructor that I have included.

A few things to consider for your final draft:

First, it should be clear when you are summarizing an article. You have three summary paragraphs that are generally well-written, but with the exception of a couple in-text citations, it is typically not clear that you are summarizing someone else’s article. One quick way to avoid this is to simply note what you are summarizing early in your paragraph (“As Feminista Jones writes in her article titled . . . “). You can also include what are known as “attributive tags,” which are basically just ways to distinguish your views from someone elses. These are things like “Jones argues that . . . ” or “According to Coe, . . . “. Adding things like this to your summary paragraphs will clear up any confusion regarding whether or not you are summarizing someone’s arguments or making your own (you do this better in the paragraph that follows the three summary paragraphs).

Further, I would recommend that you find something–an idea, an argument, a concern, etc.–that ties these three topics together. You are discussing several complicated issues here, and you do a nice job, but it is not always apparent how they all fit together. For instance, your final paragraph does a good job moving carefully from one issue to the next, but it is not entirely clear what unifies these issues. What ties these issues together? What have the articles discussed or recommended that can link, for instance, respect for opposing political views to investing in rural youth? You do not need to turn this into something overly complicated, but there should be something–again, an idea, an argument, a problem, or something similar–that unites these seemingly distinct topics into a single, cohesive synthesis essay.

Order this or a similar paper and get 20% discount on your first order with us. Use coupon: GET20