research paper refinement and improvemnt

I was looking for help in rewriting my research paper.

here are the guidlines that are needed

Research Paper:
Your final paper should be 5 – 8 pages long (double-spaced in a reasonable font size). It will answer the following questions about the cyber attack that you are researching:

  1. Who (organization/company/individual) was the target?
  2. What was the goal of the attack?
  3. How was it discovered?
  4. What were the effects/results of the attack?
    • What kind of disruption occurred – stoppage of service? loss of data?
    • Was the attack successful in its goal?
  5. How was the attack done?
    • For this question, refer to the Cyber Kill Chain as a guide. As well as you can, indicate how closely the attack followed this pattern.
    • Some cyber attacks have more information than others made public. Do your best to find out the details of the attack you are studying.
  6. What has been done to mitigate the effects of the attack?
    • What has the target organization done after the attack was identified?
    • If customer data was involved, how was this addressed?
    • What changes have been made to systems or procedures in the wake of the attack?
  7. What lessons can be learned overall from this attack?
    • What can other organizations do to avoid attacks like this?
    • What can individuals (customers) do to avoid losing data or service if a company with whom they do business is the victim of this kind of attack?
  8. Other interesting / pertinent information
    • If there is anything else about this particular attack that you think is important, please include it in your paper.

You can use whatever format you like for your paper and answer the above questions in any way that works. Your paper will be graded on the following criteria:

  • How well it answers the questions above
  • Good use of references
  • Good flow in the paper. Sometimes the use of labeled sections can help to make a paper more readable. This is not required, but may help in organization of ideas as well.

Notes on choosing sources:

Please choose your sources carefully. Here are a few tips that you can use when doing your research.

  • If you use a web site as a source, be sure that it is verifiable and reliable. For information about how to choose web sources wisely, see these links:
  • DO NOT use Wikipedia as a source for your paper. While Wikipedia can be a valuable reference for learning about a lot of topics, it is not a primary source. You may use Wikipedia for basic information, but for citations for your paper, you may want to look at the list of citations on the Wikipedia page for your sources.
  • If you choose to cite a blog post, be sure that you indicate that it is a person’s opinion and not necessarily fact. If the blogger is a reliable expert on your topic, make sure to note this in the paper or in the reference citation.
  • Be careful when citing commercial web sites for facts about a product. While these sites will not necessarily state anything untrue, it is likely that the information will be skewed with a bias towards the company’s own products.

Teachers notes for improvment:

Overall it is good but there are a few things I would change/look over again. I would not label the sections as I feel it interferes with with the flow of the paper, though as the instructions say you can use any format you want. If you keep them I would make them bold as at first I thought they were just incomplete sentences. Also there are some parts where there are multiple paragraphs in a row that do not have citations. Finally there are some grammatical errors, so just proofread the paper again and I am sure you will find them.

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