The personal statement is a little bit long, please make it a 2 page with necessary content. Also, it seems the second half didint change much, please customize it and make it look great.
I am Apply computer science master degree, this is the personal statement for the application. Please polish the statement, you can change the structure and wordings, grammar to make it more professional and convincing
Make sure To emphasize how excellent the student is and get admitted by the master program
NOTE NOTE NOTE
I have attached the personal statement below
I need an excellent job (A serious tutor needed)