JS 181 Intern

I will attach my research paper and I need to base it on my research paper separate into 4 parts in 4 different papers because I have to turn in 4 parts differently and then the whole research at the end. I already try to submit part 1 which is Intro but I need to revise I will also attach the one I submitted and the comment from my professor for you easy to compare. Last but not least please take a look at the whole paper and fix it if you think the paper should change something !!

#1: Introduction

#2: Literature Review (Part 1)

#3: Literature Review (Part 2)

#4: Conclusion and Policy Implications

P/S: this is the comment from professor

Hi Huy,
Thanks for your submission. This looks to be an interesting research paper.
Some feedback:
An introduction should not have graphs in it. Rather, you should be introducing the topic, providing background on the problem, and introducing your thesis — all in your own writing.
LATER ON, in the body of your paper, you will support your thesis with peer reviewed studies conducted by others — but this does not belong in your intro.
Please revise this assignment as follows:
1) Remove all graphs.
2) Add a title page in APA format (this submission in not in APA… missing page numbers).
3) Remember, this in your INTRODUCTION — it is not the body of the paper.
4) Put it into paragraphs without all the bold headers — there should only be ONE header in your introduction, and that header is “Introduction”. For example, your thesis statement should be appropriately placed in a paragraph, near the end of your introduction — not separated out with a header. Same goes for the statement of the problem, etc. Just integrate all of those ideas into paragraphs.
I look forward to receiving your revised introduction!

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