Introduction to Pastoral Counseling



Kai Alithia Brown

Student ID: L23047679

Presented to Dwight C. Rice, D.Min. (PhD Candidate)

In partial fulfillment of the requirements of

Introduction to Pastoral Counseling

PACO 500 FALL D07 2010

Liberty Theological Seminary

Norcross, GA

December 12, 2010


I, Kai Brown, am serving as an assistant pastoral counselor at Destiny Metropolitan Worship Church in Marietta, Georgia as I complete my Masters of Divinity at Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary’s Distance Learning Program. It is my goal to be taken on full time as a pastoral counselor when I complete my Masters of Arts in Religion in Pastoral Counseling in December 2010.

My overarching goal is to become an imitator of Christ by presenting my body as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1-2) for complete service to God in order that those around me may be influenced to live godly lives so that they might spend eternity with God in Heaven (1 Corinthians 9:24-27). In recognition of the Holy Spirit as the Wonderful Counselor, I will submit to His guidance through the utilization of Solution Blessed Brief Pastoral Counseling (SBBPC) approach. SBBPC is pastoral counseling influenced by the Hawkins’ Pastoral Assessment Model and Counseling Scenario with techniques learned from Benner’s (2003) Strategic Pastoral Counseling and Kollar’s (1997) Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling. This paper will focus on the counseling scenario with Justin, from Crossroads: A Story of Forgiveness, utilizing the SBBPC method. Clear & concise MCj04244660000[1]

Table of Contents

Abstract ii

Part1: The Counseling Setting 1

Rationale for Solution Blessed Brief Pastoral Counseling 1

Overview of SBBPC 1

Guiding Assumptions for SBBPC 3

Part2: The Counselor’s Relational Style 4

Part 3: The Counseling Structure/Strategy 6

P1: Presenting Story 6

P2: Preferred Future 9

P3: Action Plan 12

P4: Partnering with Community 14

Part 4: The Counseling Summation 15

References 18

Appendix 19

Pre-Session Package (Appendix A-I)

Appendix A: Statement of Beliefs 19

Appendix B: Ethical Guidelines 20

Appendix C: Intake Form 21

Appendix D: Informed Consent and Confidentiality Form 23

Appendix E: Overview of Counseling Process/Personal Agreements 23

Appendix F: Referral Process 25

Appendix G: Annotated References 25

Appendix H: Relational Style Action Plan 27

Appendix I: Journal Entries 29

Grading Guidelines 36



Part 1: The Counseling Setting

A Rationale for Solution Blessed Brief Pastoral Counseling (SBBPC)

As Christians we know that when we seek to be in right relationship with God. All solutions are found in Christ as He makes provisions for our needs (Matthew 6:33). In addition, we know that whatever we bind on earth will be bound in Heaven and whatever is loosed on earth will be loosed in Heaven (Matthew 16:19). We furthermore recognize the Holy Spirit as the Wonderful Counselor, who Jesus said would lead believers to discovering all truth (John 15:26, 16:7). Therefore, God through the working of the Holy Spirit allows for His children to find solutions that help to change problematic behaviors and thought processes for good behaviors and thought processes. When authority is given to the Word of God, under the guidance and control of the Holy Spirit along with the proper resources and connections that not only support well-being but a relationship with Christ, change is inevitable and can be sustained (Hawkins, 2010a slide 8). The combination of these Bible verses along with methods and teachings from Strategic Pastoral Counseling (Benner 2003), Hawkins’ “Pastoral Assessment Method” and “Pastoral Counseling Scenarios” in addition to Kollar’s Solution Focused Pastoral Counseling (1997) mesh together to form a counseling approach known as Solution Blessed Brief Pastoral Counseling. SBBPC relies on the Holy Spirit to guide the counselor and counselee through the counseling scenario to implement change which results in the counselee becoming more capable of achieving the overarching goal of imitating Christ. Comment by Dwight Rice: FYI…the verb tenses in this passage present meaningful picture of SBBPC’s notion that there is a key from heaven to every lock on earth. Whatever is bound on earth is in direct relation to what has already been bound in heaven…whatever is loosed on earth is in direct relation to what has already been loosed in heaven. In other words, we are to pray and perform on earth based on the settled will of God in heaven. The prayer and actions that make a difference on earth are those that are initiated and empowered by heaven. 🙂

Overview of SBBPC

SBBPC is a highly structured counseling process. It is holistic, spiritually focused, utilizes Christian centered techniques and is solution focused rather than problem-centered. SBBPC is also time-sensitive, therefore each of the five sessions are between 60 to 90 minutes in length and seeks to move the counselee to the overarching goal of Christ-likeness through the sharing of their story, discussing life without the problem, coming up with solutions to solve the problem and then connecting them to others that will hold them accountable for living a life that imitates Christ. Due to the time constraints of SBBPC, counselee’s are given pre-session packets that contain information such as the counselor’s credentials, worldview/statement of beliefs, ethical guidelines and asked to complete an intake form and review the confidentiality and informed consent forms, See Appendix A-G (Hawkins 2010b, slide 4). Because of the amount of information in the pre-session packet it should be returned prior to the first session if possible. This will afford the counselor an opportunity to review the material and seek guidance from the Holy Spirit. Then in the initial session there is a brief discussion of the documents.

Although the counselor recognizes that the Holy Spirit is the supreme guide, he/she is used to directs the counseling process and assist the counselee with becoming a willing participant in the counseling process so that viable solutions can be co-created (Kollar 1997, 87). When solutions are co-created with and implemented in the life of the counselee and both parties agree that formal counseling sessions are no longer needed, the formal counseling relationship is ended, keeping in mind that there will be no more than five session. The counselor may still contact the counselee by phone to ensure that the overarching goal is still being achieved (Kollar, 181). If the counselee and counselor are not making progress or the counselee presents extreme behavior, a referral to the appropriate agent or agency will be made (as recorded in the Ethical Guidelines, Informed Consent and Confidentiality agreements in the Appendix.)

Homework, either in the form of reading assignments, behavior rehearsals or journaling is often given to help the care-seeker retain information gained from the counseling session and practice their “strengths” that help them to make the necessary changes (Benner 2003, 58-59). Note-taking by the counselor and breaks are also utilized to ensure the productivity of the counseling process.

Guiding Assumptions for SBBPC

1. God is already active and at work in the life of the counselee (Kollar, 91). All humans are created in the image of God and are worthy of His love, He shows grace and mercy to all regardless of whether or not they are believers.

2. Finding exceptions helps create solutions regardless of how big or small the problem appears to be (Kollar, 92). The counselee experiences moments no matter how brief when they are not plagued by their problem; the solution lies in finding the behavior and thought processes the counselee utilizes during these times.

3. The counselee is always changing and the counseling relationship is positional (Kollar, 92, 93). All lives are impacted by change; any small change the counselee makes will result in a change in their lifestyle and can lead to the position of the counselee changing in the counseling session.

4. The counselee is the expert and defines the goals (Kollar, 92). Only the counselee possesses the knowledge to know the thought processes and behaviors that allow them to experience life without the problem.

5. Solutions are co-created (Kollar, 92). The Holy Spirit, counselor and counselee work together to develop a plan of action to create a solution for sustainable change.

6. The counselee is not the problem; the problem is the problem (Kollar, 92). Problems do not define the individual and are to be viewed as temporary set-backs; problems can be changed by thinking and behaving differently.

7. The counselor’s focus is on solutions (Kollar, 93). The counselor does not become depressed by the problem, but keeps working with the counselee until a sustainable solution is discovered. Part 1 is right on target!!

Part 2: The Counselor’s Relational Style

For the most part, all of the tests (DISC, Myer-Briggs and 360 Interviews) are fairly consistent in the assessment of my personality and abilities. My relational style according to the DISC model is S (Specialist), even though in public I believe that others just want me to be a C/S (Competent Specialist). I believe that others do not want me to be influential but only to get tasks done. I am generally a people-person. I have the ability to relate well to others, be it one on one or in groups, though I prefer interacting one on one. Although my greatest pleasure from serving other I am capable of being a leader when needed. I believe that the efficiency and effectiveness of an established procedure is not to be questioned often. According to Briggs Myers I am an ISFJ (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling and Judging). I am often annoyed or irritated when others do not follow the rules, although I may not always display this reaction unless under a great deal of stress. In that case the ISFJ has the tendency to go on the attack. I love details and can bore others with my slow decision making skills, even though I normally make the best decision possible. I can come across as shy and at times I am excessively critical. According to the input received from my 360 Interviews; I possess the qualities of a beaver. For the most part, I am a hard-worker, but I can be moody and unsociable at times. Individuals recognize that I like to break tasks into smaller, achievable components and appear to be very systematic. As an ISFJ I am introspective, but love to take on the causes of the less fortunate. My judgmental and critical nature makes me pessimistic and appears as if I do not possess much faith in God or others.

My spiritual gifts include encouraging/exhorting, mercy and serving, which my Uniquely Your profile correspond well to the requirements of an effective solution-focused counselor. Thus the strengths of my relational style correlate to my overarching goal of imitating Christ with my personal goal of serving others. Even though, I often know what to say and what it takes to get a job done, I can be overly critical and shame others for not working the way I deem appropriate. I have to exhibit more self-control and keep a tight reign over my tongue or I will not come across as an empathetic listener that is non-judgmental (Petersen 2007, 93, 96). I do not enjoy being critical and judgmental, so as I grow in God’s grace and knowledge these are traits I can change. In making these changes, I will utilize the fruit of the Spirit, be more attentive to the presence of God, be in constant prayer for help in being less critical/judgmental (Cloud 2004, 245) and meditate to become more objective and exhibit more faith in myself, others and God so that I might truly be of service to others and imitate Christ (Benner, 23).

While working with Justin, I have to be very careful not to be judgmental. This could increase his level of depression due to sever feelings of guilt. I will have to establish eye-contact but not stare because staring can make him feel more guilt. I will give him my total attention which demonstrates fit (Kollar, 113). I will have to allow the Holy Spirit to guide me in encouraging and influencing him to be a willing participant in the counseling process. Justin will have to tell his own story, while I listen carefully to see how God is working in his life. I cannot pressure him for more details or use my intuition to assume I know what is going on with him. It will be my responsibility to help him see the times and situations when he is not burdened by guilt. I will assist him in capitalizing on times and making them more frequent. I will help him see that he has the strength to find solutions. I will have to exude mercy, empathy and patience and be careful not try to try fix the problem for him without his input (Hawkins 2010c, slide 6). Comment by Dwight Rice: How does your CSA information contribute to this section of the project?

Part 3: The Counseling Structure/Strategy

P1: Presenting Story

The purpose of phase 1: “What is the present problem?”

The goal of phase 1: “Problem description”

The aim of phase 1: “Listen well” (Hawkins 2010d, slide 5).

Justin and his family attend my church, Destiny Metropolitan Worship Church about once a month. I am currently serving in the capacity of an assistant pastoral counselor. Justin has been brought to counseling by his parents due to their concern of how he is handling his feelings of guilt for driving a speeding car that crashed into Mrs. Murakami and her daughter, Chelsea’s van which resulted in their death. I briefly introduce myself, talk to him and his parents, exchanging pleasantries and giving them after hours contact information. I also, smile at Justin and ask if it is okay to call him Justin. He merely shrugs. I ask his parents to wait outside of the meeting room and inform them that I will speak with them when we take a break during the counseling session. Having reviewed the pre-session packet, it was obvious that the forms have in part been completed by his mother or father. I take note of this because it may be part of the reason I am sensing resistance from Justin. We spend the first few minutes discussing his day at school and reviewing the intake forms so that I can be sure he understands the counseling process. He merely grunts yes or no’s to the questions regarding homework, taking breaks and my note-taking and barely talks to me since he is in the attending position. It is clear that he has no desire to be in counseling.

I then ask him why he has decided to come to counseling. He says his parents forced him because they are worried that he might be suffering from depression due to having so much guilt over the car accident, which demonstrates he has moved into a blaming position. I commend him for coming to counseling and emphasize that no one can make him do anything at his age and get a small smile.

I then ask him if it is okay if we pray. He does not wish to pray, but allows me to pray. I pray for his well-being. He leans forward after the prayer, signaling that he is moving into a willing position. At this point, I am working under the assumptions that God is at work in Justin’s life, that he is capable of change, that he will move to a willing position because the counseling relationship is positional and that he is the expert and will find the solution. Comment by Dwight Rice: careful with this…it may not be an invitation…just a bit of posturing in light of the moment…

Justin’s body language indicates to me that he is ready to talk. I ask him “What do you hope to gain from attending counseling?” Contrary to his initial presentation, Justin willingly discusses the car accident and seems to thrive off of being the focus of my attention. He recalls how quickly he got caught up in the idea of being the fastest driver and did not consider the possibility of harming someone. He becomes silent after this statement. He appears to have an I/D/S (Inspiring, Driving, Submissive) personality.

In order to keep the conversation flowing so that I can determine the source of his guilt, I ask him another question (Clinton and Hawkins 2009, 139). “Why have you stopped talking? What’s on your mind?” He looks down and says, “I can’t believe I am only 18 and have killed two people, I should be serving life in prison.” I recognize that Justin is suffering from the guilt. I acknowledge that it is normal for him to have feelings of guilt because we all feel bad sometimes and it is good to talk about these feelings (Crabb 1977, 103).

I then ask him, “How would being in prison make you feel?” Justin replies in a shaky voice, “I would hate it, but at least I would be paying my debt to society and people would not be whispering that I got off easy doing seminars on the dangers of street racing. I would not have to worry about people constantly judging me or acting like I purposely killed Mrs. Murakami and her daughter.” I repeat Justin’s statement back to him, letting him know that I am listening to him and seeking to understand the problem from his perspective, “It sounds like you feel as if people think you meant to harm Mrs. Murakami and Chelsea.” He says, “No, that’s not what I meant.” I then ask for clarification, “What do you mean?” He responds “I feel like I do not deserve to live because I have taken the lives of others.”

I lean towards Justin and say, “You are special to God and He has a purpose for you. Do you believe that?” Justin looks at me and says, “I believe in God… I do, but He is not pleased with me.” I ask, “Why not?” Justin replies, “I killed two people.” I ask, “Do you believe that God has forgiven you?” Justin says, “I think so.” I then ask, “What needs to happen so that you know God has forgiven you?” Justin says, “I won’t feel guilty all the time.” I respond, “Do you always feel guilty?” Justin says, “Yes.” I ask, “Are you sure?” He says, “Yes.” I say, “What about when you are sleep?” He says, “No.” I ask, “What about when you are eating?” He says, “No.” I then ask, “What about when you are home with your family.” He says, “No.” I say, “Well, then you don’t feel guilty all of the time. Tell me what is different about these times?” “He says, I don’t know. I just don’t think about the Murakami’s or if I do, I think about Bruce and how he has forgiven me. For the most part, I am focused on what I need to be doing at the moment or thinking about something else.” I smile and say with lots of enthusiasm, “Thanks, you have just shared with me an important way to cope with feeling guilty, you think about something else.” I then announce, our session is almost over, I am going to let you think about all that we have discussed while I talk to your parents. When I come back in, I will have a homework assignment for you.”

I do not discuss any of the things Justin and I have spoken about with his parents, but I ask them to take note of instances in which Justin does not appear to be suffering from guilt. I ask that they do not point this out to him, but report it to me in the next session.

I come back into the room and ask Justin to rate on a scale from 1 to 10 about how much guilt he feels right now with 1 being extremely guilty and 10 being no guilt at all (An Overview of Solution Focused Pastoral Counseling, Slide 16). Justin states that he is about a 2 or 3. I tell him that for his homework assignment, I want him to continue to do more of the things that help him to not focus on his guilt and determine what it will take for him to move to a 4 during our next session.

During this session, Justin has had the opportunity to share his story and determine why he is feeling guilty. We have not defined a clear goal, but have begun to lay the groundwork of finding exceptions to living life without the problem. MCj04244660000[1]

P2: Preferred Future

The purpose of phase 2: Determine the preferred solution

The goal of phase 2: Formulation of the Goal

The aim of phase 2: “Collaborating Well” (Hawkins 2010d, 6).

Once again, Justin’s parents have brought Justin back to counseling. I greet all of them and ask his parents to wait out in the lobby until Justin and I take a break from our session. This session I will work primarily from the assumptions that there are exceptions to living life with the problem and that Justin is not the problem.

I invite Justin to come back to the meeting room with me and he is already smiling. I smile back and ask, “Why are you smiling?” He replies, “Everyday I get closer to feeling like God has forgiven me.” I give Justin some supportive feedback at this time because he is making progress towards imitating Christ. I say, “Very well done, God is the forgiver of sin.” Justin chuckles and I sense that he is holding back a little. He says, “I still have a long way to go.” I say, “Well tell me, on a scale from 1 to 10, where are you.” He says, “Oh, I would say a 4.5.” I say with great exaggeration, “4.5. Well, you have got tell me how to get ½ a point.” He laughs.

I then ask him if he wishes to pray or if he wants me to pray. He asks that I pray. In my prayer, I thank God for the progress that is being made in Justin’s life and ask that he continue to bless him. I tell him that this session will probably not be as long as the first session since we do not have any paperwork to go over.

I ask him about his homework assignment. He says, “I only thought about the Mrs. Murakami and Chelsea a few times this week outside of the time I was speaking at the seminars with Bruce.” I congratulate him and ask how he managed to stop himself from thinking about them so much. He says, “Oh, I stopped sitting around doing nothing. I have been talking with my family and friends more. I do more than just go to school, do the seminars, go to church and come home and mope. I have started reading my Bible, praying more, participating in church activities and finding things to do.” I smile and say, “That’s great. I am glad you are reading your Bible more, because it teaches that our sins can be forgiven if we confess them to God and repent. I am also glad that you are becoming more involved in church, this will definitely help you develop a better relationship with God.” I write down some Bible verses I want to give Justin to study and make notes of what he does to avoid feeling guilty.

Utilizing the MECSTAT formula, I ask Justin some miracle questions (An Overview of Solution Focused Pastoral Counseling, Slide 15). I ask Justin how his life will have changed in another week, if he continues to rid himself of his feelings of guilt. He states that he will be closer to a six. I continue to encourage his positive thinking and say, “A six, wow, what will life be like in a month then?” He says, “I will definitely be at an 8 or even a 9.” I say, a 9, wow, you can be at a 9 in a month?” He says, “Sure.” I say, “Well, tell me what it would take to get you to a 9.” He says, with confidence, “I will know God has forgiven me.” I say, “That makes sense. So not only will you continue to be active, but you will know that God has forgiven you.” He says, “Yeah.” I say, “Well, Mr. Justin, you have certainly given me a lot to think about… let’s take a break. I want you to think about what we have discussed and look at these Bible verses: 1 John 1:9, John 8:31-36 and Romans 8:1 while I talk to your parents.

I briefly speak with Justin’s parents to gather notes on what they have noticed about him within the past week. They comment on how much happier and busier he has been. They feel that he had made significant progress. I thank them for noticing the changes that Justin has made and ask that they continue with their assignment. However, I ask that they offer words of encouragement when they notice him being in good spirits.

I go back into the meeting room to discuss the Bible verses with Justin. I ask him to tell me about the verses, he says they all deal with sin and God’s forgiveness. He says that he feels like he has been forgiven, but cannot help feeling guilty at times. I give him the homework for next week, his assignment is to keep a “guilt pot” (Clinton and Hawkins, 139). Every time he feels guilty, he is to write it on a piece of paper and throw it into the pot and forget about it. This is to help him remember that God is still working on him and God forgives him, this also appeal to his I/D/S personality by allowing him to be more active in the process of ridding himself of guilt. I also ask that he continues to do what he has been doing since it is working for him.

As required in Stage P2, we have identified possible solutions to living life without the problem and assessed how well Justin has been able to carry these solutions (Hawkins 2010d, slide 6). MCj04244660000[1]

P3: Action Plan

The purpose of phase 3: Vision formulation

The goal of phase 3: “Vision clarification”

The aim of phase 3: “Executing well” (Hawkins 2010d, slide 7).

Three weeks later Justin comes to counseling with his parents. They are all smiles. I ask what is going on, but no one give me an answers. I ask Justin to wait for me in the meeting room. I speak with his parents for a moment and they are encouraged by the progress Justin is making. I thank them for their faithfulness in bringing Justin to counseling and tell them that I want them to continue to offer encouragement and support to Justin. I inform them that Justin has been doing extremely well and will probably only need one more session of counseling, therefore the next session will be in about a month. I go into the meeting room to find Justin eagerly waiting for me, he actually leads prayer. He thanks God for working in his life and prays to be a more faithful Christian. I am encouraged because he has never lead prayer before.

I ask Justin to rate his feelings of guilt on a scale from 1 to 10. He is pretty sure that he is a 7 moving towards an 8. I ask Justin what he has done to get to be almost at an 8. He smiles and says that he has been doing what he has learned since starting counseling. The difference is that his parents have been more supportive and encouraging than normal. I ask him to explain. He says that they have been inviting him to do more things with them and appear to trust him more. He believes the added trust helps him feel better about himself. He even says He rededicated his life to the Lord and is going through discipleship training. I tell him that is great and that I am looking forward to seeing him in Heaven. I say this because I know that it suits his I/D/S personality. I utilize this time to steer Justin towards developing an action plan.

I say, “Justin, you have been so successful in not feeling guilty, what has been the greatest help to you?” He responds, “Praying and talking to God. I feel like He is really there and cares about me.” I say, “God loves you; He always has and always will. He desires that you live your life in right relationship with Him. He will forgive you of your sins as long as you repent. Tell me what kinds of things can you do to live your life for God?” Justin says, “I can go to church at least once a week, pray twice a day and read my Bible at least once a day.” I say, “That’s some good stuff; that should definitely be included in your action plan.” He agrees wholeheartedly. I ask what else needs to include in your plan. Justin states, “I have to continue to speak at the seminars on street racing, so we need to include that.” I ask him how speaking at the seminars helps. Justin thinks a minute and says, “The seminars help me to feel like I am making a difference, I hope that I am helping someone else not to make a bad decision.” I say, “Oh yeah, that is a good thing. How many seminars do you do a week?” He says, “I do two a week.” I tell Justin that even though the seminars are court ordered, I see how helpful they have been in his healing process. He shakes his head in agreement.

I then ask if there is anything he should not be doing because it is not helping him. He says the guilt pot is not working for him, it cause him to feel more shame rather than focus on God’s goodness. I thank him for being honest and tell him to throw it out. I recognize that successful people “pull the tooth” and do not waste energy on what is not benefitting them (Cloud, 49). There is no need to focus attention on doing something that does not work (Kollar, 93). I ask Justin if there is anything else we should include in order for him to recognize that he has been forgiven and is capable of living a life free of guilt that imitates Christ. He says not that he can think of. I say, well let’s take a short break.

Upon my return I commend Justin once again for rededicating his life to Christ and encourage him to remain active in the various ministries geared towards youth. We go over what he needs to do in regards to his action plan and plan to meet in a month.

This session has allowed us to clarify the goal of Justin living without guilt because he recognizes God has forgiven him. Living without guilt will allows Justin to achieve the overarching goal of living a life that imitates Christ. MCj04244660000[1]

P4: Partnering with Community

The purpose of phase 4: Finding community support

The goal of phase 4: “Supportive feedback”

The aim of phase 4: “Connecting community well” (Hawkins 2010d, 8).

A month later, Justin arrives to counseling without his parents. I am concerned. I question Justin about his parents and he tells me he wanted to do this one on his own and because they trust him more and they allowed him to take the bus. He says that he is feeling better than ever and actually looks forward to giving the talks at the seminars with Bruce. I ask him why. He says that it gives him the opportunity to share his story and testimony. He says that he is 100% sure of God’s love and His ability to forgive sins. I tell Justin how proud I am of him and ask that we take a few moments to pray. Justin says a quick prayer of thanksgiving.

I say, “I don’t feel it is necessary, but on a scale from 1 to 10, tell me how guilty you feel.” Justin responds, “I am at a 10.” I say, “Congratulations. This must mean the action plan is working.” Justin declares with great excitement, “It works. It works! It works!” I am slightly confused by the amount of emotion he is displaying, because of C/S nature. Justin clarifies the situation for me, “It works because the Holy Spirit has been leading and guiding us through my healing process.” I sit in awe of just how far Justin has come. I comment, “Well, Justin, I am completely satisfied with your progress and feel that we no longer need to have formal counseling sessions. I am always just a phone call away if you should need my services again. However, I do want to make sure that you continue on this road to success. What will you do when you no longer have to participate in the seminars?”

Justin says, “Even when I am no longer obligated by the court to continue with the seminars, I will still do them. I think I will give my talks as more as a testimony… kind of in a motivational format.” I say, “What a good idea! I am sure that others will be blessed by your willingness to share your story.” Justin realized that “something significant happens when you decide to follow God’s instructions for relationships, especially his insights on conflict. When you focus on him and his ways, you do more than cope (Sande and Johnson 2008, 12).

“What about your church life?” I ask. He replies, “Oh, I am attending Bible study, Sunday School and Sunday services. I also have Thomas and Daniel as my prayer partners.” I say, “Very good, it looks like you have all of your bases covered. Justin has an understanding that, “prayer saves time and is powerful, prayer gives needed insight, and that prayer is our greatest spiritual weapon” (Earley 2006, 9). I also suggest that he try and find a L.I.F.E. small group, one that will love, instruct, fellowship, and equip (Dempsey, 2010, 14) him to continue his journey towards imitating Christ. I also remind him on Tuesdays “Celebrate Recovery” meets. I thank Justin for being a willing participant in the counseling process and send him off with a hug. Justin has informed me that he has found a mentor to help him continue his growth towards imitating Christ. He has scheduled his first meeting to make sure that Minister Turner is a good fit. Part 3 has been a grand slam moment!

Part 4: The Counseling Summation

This case study with Justin has allowed me to fully embrace and understand the skills and abilities that are needed to utilize the SBBPC approach. The techniques of Solution Focused Pastoral Counseling/ MECSTAT and Solution Focused Brief Therapy are invaluable tools for the pastoral counselor. Throughout the counseling scenario, I maintained an environment of H.O.P.E. – hopeful, optimistic, positive and expectant (Kollar, 161). It was my intent to focus on solutions rather than get too involved in the details of the car accident, even though my C/S personality wanted to know every detail. I was upbeat and pleasant without coming across as judgmental so that I would be perceived as warm, empathetic and genuine. Because, Justin was a willing participant in counseling, he achieved the overarching goal of imitating Christ. In spite of my curiosity I realized that it was not necessary to come along side Justin and assist him in developing an action plan or determine how God is working in the counselee’s life.

Because Justin’s work has been his own and not me telling him what to do he will more than likely continue on the path to success and continue to mature in Christ as he has his parents and church family to keep him accountable. I will make sure to speak to him at church in case he needs to talk to me and I will call him in six months for a follow-up to ensure he is continuing on his path to imitating Christ. If, by chance, Justin relapses, I will ask the Holy Spirit to help normalize the setback and help him to refocus on the progress he has made (Kollar, 183). I will then ask him if he is willing to participate in a support group or “Celebrate Recovery” ministry. If necessary we will schedule another set of counseling sessions. If no change or improvement occurs I will determine whether or not what we are doing in the counseling session is working or if the goal is too vague (Kollar, 182). If necessary a referral will be made. MCj04244660000[1]

I had to consistently remind myself that I must fulfill all of the requirements of G.R.A.C.E – Goal formulation and vision clarification, Resource and needs assessment, Actualizing key concepts of SBBPC, Cultivating commitment to action and Experience of demonstrating fit, multi-tasking, mapping, and maintaining ministerial integrity. I knew the overarching goal was to help Justin imitate Christ, but I struggled with dealing with his guilt in terms of the overall vision so that he would not be hindered in his relationship to Christ. I also struggled with demonstrating fit and mapping. I was unsure of how to assess Justin’s personality because I knew it had been altered by his guilt. I also had trouble stopping to map out an action plan, because I was ready to take Justin to life without the problem. I believe my greatest strength was in maintaining ministerial integrity, I remembered to keep the sessions Christ-centered by starting off in prayer and focusing on Justin’s relationship with God. MCj04244660000[1]

I have had to consider only a few spiritual aspect of a counselee prior to Justin, therefore it is essential that I debrief with a more experience counselor. I have chosen, Elder Ron Sumpter, the Elder over the pastoral counseling at Destiny. We have determined that I will always speak to him or Minister Demps, the pastoral counselor that primarily deals with grief, after each of my sessions. We discuss my role in the counseling process in regards to the jobs and functions of the Holy Spirit and Justin, the counselee. It is determined that I still need to attend a Christian counseling seminar that deals with stress, anxiety, depression and grief as well as a seminar dealing with the utilization of spiritual gifts. I am also encouraged to leave all counseling materials in the office so as not to violate the confidentiality of my counselees and to serve as a measure against taking my work home. It has also become apparent that I need to take the time to study more SBBPC case studies and counseling sessions. I will also have to be persistent in my own personal times of worship, prayer, meditation and Bible study so that I may continue to be of service to others and imitate Christ. MCj04244660000[1]


Benner, David. 2003. Strategic pastoral counseling: A short-term structured model. Grand

Rapids: Baker Academic.

Cloud, Henry. 2004. 9 things you simply must do: to succeed in love and life. Nashville: Thomas


Earley, Dave. The 8 habits of effective small group leaders. “Suggestions for what to say and

when to say it.” 8 Habits of Small Group Leaders.doc (accessed December 3, 2010).

Hawkins, Ronald E. 2010a. The Hawkins’ Pastoral Assessment Model.


(accessed November 1, 2010).

Hawkins, Ronald E. 2010c, The Pastoral Counseling Scenario Part 2: The Counseling Structure. (accessed November 1, 2010).

Hawkins, Ronald E. 2010d, The Pastoral Counseling Scenario Part 3: The Counseling Structure. (accessed November 1, 2010).

Kollar, Charles Allen. 1997. Solution-focused pastoral counseling:  An effective approach

for getting people back on track. Grand Rapids:  Zondervan.

Petersen, James C. 2007. Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and connecting in

relationships. Tigard, Oregon: Petersen Publications.

Sande, Ken, and Kevin Johnson. 2008. The Peacemaker Student Edition: Handling Conflict

without Fighting Back or Running Away. Grand Rapids: Baker Publishing Group.

An Overview of Solution Focused Brief Therapy. (accessed November 1, 2010).

“Personality Types: Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever, and Beaver.”WeirdGuy. Available from (accessed December, 1 2010).

Appendix A

Statement of Beliefs

These Articles do not attempt to cover all aspect of biblical truth, but are the major articles of the Christian Faith.

ARTICLE I – THE SCRIPTURES We believe that “all Scripture is given by inspiration of God,” by which we understand the whole Bible is inspired in the sense that holy men of God “were moved by the Holy Spirit” to write the very words of Scripture. We believe that this divine inspiration extends equally and fully to all parts of the writings — historical, poetical, doctrinal, and prophetical — as appeared in the original manuscripts. We believe that the whole Bible in the originals is therefore without error. We believe that all Scripture centers around the Lord Jesus Christ in His person and work, in His first and second coming, and hence that no portion, even of the Old Testament, is properly read or understood until it leads to Him. We also believe that all the Scriptures were designed for our practical instruction.

ARTICLE II – THE GODHEAD We believe that the Godhead eternally exists in three persons — the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit — and that these three are one God, having precisely the same nature, attributes, and perfection, and worthy of precisely the same homage, confidence, and obedience.

ARTICLE III – MAN CREATED AND FALLEN We believe that man was originally created in the image and after the likeness of God, and that he fell through sin, and as a consequence of his sin, lost his spiritual life, becoming dead in trespasses and sins, and that he became subject to the power of the devil. We also believe that this spiritual death, or total depravity of human nature, has been transmitted to the entire human race of man, the Man Christ Jesus alone being excepted; and hence that every child of Adam is born into the world with a nature which not only possesses no spark of divine life, but is essentially and unchangeably unholy apart from divine grace.

ARTICLE V – SALVATION ONLY THROUGH CHRIST We believe that, owing to universal death through sin, no one can enter the Kingdom of God unless born again; and that no degree of reformation, however great, no attainments in morality, however high, no culture, however attractive, no baptism or other ordinance, however administered, can help the sinner to take even one step toward heaven; but a new life implanted by the Holy Spirit through the Word is absolutely essential to salvation, and only those saved are children of God. We believe also that our redemption has been accomplished solely by the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.

ARTICLE VI – THE EXTENT OF SALVATION We believe that when an unregenerate person exercises that faith in Christ which is illustrated and described as such in the New Testament, he passes immediately out of spiritual death into spiritual life and from the old creation into the new. (II Cor. 5:17).

ARTICLE VII – THE HOLY SPIRIT We believe that the Holy Spirit, the Third Person of the blessed Trinity, though omnipresent from all eternity, took up His abode in the world in a special sense on the day of Pentecost according to the divine promise, and indwelling every believer, and by His baptism unites all Christians to Christ in one Body, and that He, as the Indwelling One, is the source of all power and all acceptable worship and service.

ARTICLE VIII – THE LOCAL CHURCH We believe that the local congregation of believers in Jesus Christ is the primary instrument of God in the world today for the purpose of Biblical teaching, corporate worship, encouragement and fellowship, discipling believers, evangelism and mission efforts. Therefore, we believe the Christian should make a commitment to a local church where he/she can give and receive ministry, and practice Biblical stewardship.

ARTICLE IX – THE CHRISTIAN’S SERVICE We believe that divine, enabling gifts for service are bestowed by the Spirit upon all who are saved. While there is a diversity of gifts, each believer is energized by the same Spirit, and each is called to his own divinely appointed service as the Spirit may will. In the apostolic church there were certain gifted men — apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers — who are appointed by God for the equipping of the saints unto their work of the ministry. We believe also that today some men are especially called of God to be evangelists, pastors and teachers, and that it is to the fulfilling of His will and to His eternal glory that these shall be sustained and encouraged in their service for God. We believe that, wholly apart from salvation benefits which are bestowed equally upon all who believe, rewards are promised according to the faithfulness of each believer in his service for his Lord, and that these rewards will be bestowed at the Judgment Seat of Christ after He comes to receive His own to Himself.

**** Adapted from Marketplace Chaplains application packet

Appendix B

Ethical Guidelines

1. Counselees will be respected regardless of gender, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, ethnicity and/or national origin. However, counselees are expected to demonstrate the same level of respect or sessions will be terminated.

2. Referrals will be made to other counseling sources if the counseling demonstrates an inability to move towards change after two sessions.

3. Credentials of counselor will be made known to counselee at initial counseling session as well as included in the intake/informational packet and therefore no treatments/techniques will be utilized in which the counselor has not been properly trained in.

4. All communications between the counselor and counselee are confidential and will not be disclosed to others unless it involves potential harm to human life, violates the law and/or written consent has been given.

5. The counselor and counselee will not involve themselves in a romantic relationship and all friends and family members of the counselor will be referred to other counselors.

6. Unrealistic statements to counselees relating to the outcome of the counseling process are unethical and unprofessional. Goals and outcomes of counseling will be ethically and professionally stated within the scope and limitation of the counseling process (Kollar 1997, 95-100).

Appendix C

Intake Form

Date _________________


Full Address___________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

Home Phone__________________________ Work Phone ______________________________

E-mail Address_________________________________________________________________

Physical History(please be accurate, medical records may need to be disclosed at some point)

General Health_________________________________________________________________

Are you now under a doctor’s care?________ If yes, name of doctor_______________________

Reason for doctor’s care__________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________

Are you taking any medication?______ If yes, what kind? _______________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________Reason for medication__________________________ Date of Last medical examination______

Have you ever been hospitalized for a physical illness?____Date____________

Describe______________________________________________________________________Have you ever been hospitalized for a mental illness?____Date______________Describe___________________________________________Any recurrent or chronic conditions?________________________________________________ Describe___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Do you smoke:________ Do you take illegal drugs?________ If yes, what kind?___________________ Do you drink?________How often and how much?___________

Any Previous Therapy/Counseling?______ If yes, describe, when, where, how long, what for___________________________________________________________________________

What do you hope to achieve with counseling? ________________________________________

Work History


Length of Employment?__________________________________________________________

If presently unemployed, describe the situation _______________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

Professional Organizations/ Clubs__________________________________________________

Family Systems Information

Where were you born?___________________________________________________________

How long did you live there?______________________________________________________

Ethnic ID_____________________________________________________________________

Parents: Father alive? ____________Where does he reside____________________ What is the relationship____________________________________________________________________

Mother alive? ____________Where does she reside____________________ What is the relationship____________________________________________________________________

Number of siblings ______________________________________________________________

Marital Status ___________________ #of marriages___________________________________

Spouse’s name_________________________________________________________________

Living with a partner _____________ How long______________________________________

Partner’s Name________________________________________________________________

Children:#1 M F Age_____ #2 M F Age______ #3 M F Age______#4 M F Age_______#5 M F Age_____

Were you physically or sexually abused as a child? ____________________________________

Are you currently being physically or sexually abused in your home? ______________________ Explain_______________________________________________________________________

Tell anything else in the space below that you think would be helpful for me, as your counselor, to know. ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

Social History:

Describe briefly where you receive emotional or social support (example: church, social events, family, work, hobbies, clubs?) _____________________________________________________

Describe briefly your history of making and keeping friends (easy? difficult? many friends? a few close friends? No friends? _____________________________________________________

Spiritual History

Religious upbringing: ___________Present Affiliation: _________________________________

Have you accepted Christ?_______ At what age?______________________________________

Is your relationship with Christ an important part of your life:_______Why /why not:__________________________________________________________________________ Are you currently being counseled by a pastor:________________________________________

If yes why_____________________________________________________________________ Are you seeking to continue that counseling?_________________________________________

Emotional Status

Are you currently experiencing strong emotions? ____If yes, describe:_____________________

Do you make decisions based on your emotions?_____ How well does that work for you?_____

Have you been treated for emotional disturbances?______ If yes, when?___________________

Have you had any thoughts of suicide?________ If so, when_____________________________

Do you have any of those thoughts now?____________________________________________

Present Situation

Please state why you decided to come for counseling:__________________________________ What is the nature of your situation:_________________________________________________ What would you like to experience that is different from what you are experiencing now:__________________________________________________________________________Please state what you would like to work on in our counseling sessions: ____________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Sexual Data

Is your present sex life satisfactory? ________________________________________________

If not, please explain_____________________________________________________________ Are you sexually inhibited in any way?____________________________________________________________

Do you have any physical problems that preclude or hinder your sexual activity:_____________

If so, please specify the nature of this/these problem(s):_________________________________


Appendix D

Informed Consent and Confidentiality Form

Personal Agreements

I understand that I may be asked to do certain “homework exercises” such as reading, praying, changing behaviors and thought processes. I understand that I am expected to participate in the counseling process and assist with finding solutions that work for me.

I further understand that much of the work done will be geared towards finding solutions under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and will depend on my honesty, and willingness to embrace the small changes I need to do to move forward even if it is painful and difficult at first since there will be a maximum of five sessions that are 60-90 minutes in length.

I understand that whatever I say in a session is strictly confidential and will not be released to anyone without my consent unless I am violating codes of abuse, harm to myself or others.

I understand that I will pay in full for appointments not canceled with 24 hours notice. The rate is $55/hr.

Signed _____________________________________________ Date_______________

**** Adapted from

Appendix E

Overview of Counseling Process/Personal Agreements

A Christian counselor is a deeply committed, Spirit-guided and Spirit filled servant of Jesus Christ who applies his or her God-given abilities, skills, training, knowledge, and insights to the task of helping others move to personal wholeness, interpersonal competence, mental stability, and spiritual maturity.

My goal in providing Christian counseling is to help you meet the challenges of life in a way that will please and honor the Lord Jesus Christ and allow you to fully enjoy His love for you and His plans for your life.

I believe that the Bible provides thorough guidance and instruction for faith and life. Therefore, my counseling is based on scriptural principles first and foremost rather than those of secular psychology or psychiatry. However, some secular principles may be used. As a counselor, I am not licensed as a psychotherapist or mental health professional (LPC state designation), nor should I be expected to follow the methods of such specialists. I do have a Master of Divinity in Pastoral Counseling form Liberty Theological Seminary.

Solution Blessed Brief Counseling is a process in which we collaborate to help you to solve the problems that impact on your quality of life or your personal goals via the guidance of the Holy Spirit and work of God in your life. You and I work together to capitalize on the strengths that allow you to live without the burden of your problem t and talk about alternative ways, including Scriptural ways, that will help you find a biblical solution to the problem. You will participate in the development of the solution to your concern/problem. This will be done in no more than five sessions consisting of no more than 90 minutes a session. Your counseling process may be enhanced by educating yourself and seeking information outside of your sessions. Therefore you may have to complete homework assignments, attend various workshops at church, participate in small groups, and/or have a prayer partner.

Our relationship is a unique one. You will share with me many intimate details of your life. Confidentiality is an important aspect of the counseling process, and I will carefully guard the information you entrust to me. Without your written permission or by order of the Court, I am forbidden to disclose any information about our sessions or about you except in the following instances: 1) that I suspect that you may do harm to yourself or to others; 2) that you tell me of abuse to a child or an elderly or disabled person; 3) or if I or your records are ordered by a court of law; or 4) you waive your right to confidentiality.

From time to time, I may want to consult with another counselor or provider regarding your counseling sessions. You will be aware of these consultations (see above paragraph) and your confidentiality will be protected. Consultation and supervision are inherent in the standard of care and are supported by the Pastoral Counseling profession.

Your client file is confidential and will be properly maintained by this counseling agency. Client files remain the sole property of the counseling agency and will only be released pursuant to the client’s valid, written authorization or a valid subpoena issued by a judge.

If you must cancel a session, at least 24 hours’ notice is expected. If I (the client) do not cancel an appointment with at least 24 hours’ notice, I understand that I may be charged for the missed session. If I (the counselor) need to cancel a session with you, I will try to reschedule your session at the earliest convenience.

You may feel free to contact me between sessions at (404) 849-1511. Should you leave a message, I will call you back at my earliest convenience. Most calls are returned within 24 hours. Please note: this is a cell phone and therefore is not a secure line. It is at your discretion what kind and how much information you disclose. I am not responsible for any intercepted information.

Although either of us has the right to terminate counseling at any time, it is customary to have a formal termination session when you and I feel that your work is completed.

Having clearly stated the principles and policies of the counseling ministry, I welcome the opportunity to minister to you in the name of Jesus Christ and to be used by Him as He helps you to grow in spiritual maturity and prepares you for usefulness in His body. If you have any questions about these guidelines, please ask before signing below. If these guidelines are acceptable to you, please sign below. By signing this Informed Consent, I am agreeing to provide Counseling services to you as explained above, and you are agreeing to the above guidelines and to attend your scheduled sessions.

Signed _____________________________________________ Date_______________

**** Adapted from

Appendix F

Referral Process

Beneficial changes made by the counselee as a means of “living life without the problem” are effectively supported and sustained through the aid of supportive feedback. The church has a role to play in creating an environment in which the counselee receives such support; this can be achieved by having the counselee become involved in one of the church’s teaching ministries such as Mens/Womens/Childrens/Couples Bible Study class or small group, ministries or support groups. If the counselee is not already active in these ministries, the counselor will assist the counselee in determining the best fit for him/her.

The counselor will strive to work with the counselee regardless of the presenting problem; however there may be situations in which an outside referral is necessary. The counselee should have full confidence that they will be referred to a competent, professional who has the necessary medical or psychological experience to help the counselee through the counseling process. However, it is ultimately the decision of the counselee to accept referrals except in situations where bizarre behavior is witnessed by the counselor and/or the counselee is threatening or engaging in harm to him/her or others.

Appendix G

Annotated References


Sittser, Jerry. 2004. A grace disguised: How the soul grows through loss. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan. ISBN-10: 0310258952

This book allows individuals to see the hand of God in all aspects of life, including the loss of loved ones either by death or divorce. It will not only benefit the counselor, but certain chapters can be assigned to counselees for homework.

Nouwen, Henry. 2004. Turned my mourning into dancing: Finding hope in hard times.

Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Publishers. ISBN-10: 0849945097

As with SBBC, this book does not overwhelm the reader about grief, but causes them to look to God for solutions in dealing with the grief and ultimately experience His joy and love through all situations.


Pegues, Deborah Smith. 2008. 30 days to taming your tongue: What you say (and don’t say)

can improve your relationships. Irvine, CA: Harvest House Publishers.

ISBN-10: 0736922105

This book is accompanied by a workbook, so along with the daily devotionals it helps to serve as a daily reminder to the counselee to focus on God’s ability and their efforts to promote change.

Mowbray, Thomas L. “The function in ministry of Psalms dealing with anger: the angry

psalmist.” Journal of Pastoral Counseling 21, no. 1 (March 1, 1986): 34-39. ATLA

Religion Database with ATLA Serials, EBSCO host.

This article helps the pastoral counselor utilize biblical references for dealing with anger.


Kauffman, Richard A. 2009. “Praying ‘forgive us our sins’.” Christianity Today 53, no. 4: 54.

ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials, EBSCOhost.

This article is a series of quotes that should serve as a reminder to the counselee and counselor why forgiveness of self and others is needed. This should not be used until the counselee has a firm understanding of Christian forgiveness.

Thomas, Gary. 2000. “The forgiveness factor.” Christianity Today 44, no. 1: 38. Academic

Search Complete, EBSCOhost (accessed November 18, 2010).

This is an article solely to enlarge the perspective of the counselor as to why so many have difficulty practicing forgiveness and how society continues to preach against the church’s teachings of forgiveness.


Baker, John & Rick Warren. 2007. Life’s healing choices: freedom from your hurts, hang-ups,

and habits. New York: NY, Howard Books. ISBN-10: 1416543953

This book is a Christian based program to help those who suffer with addictions. Baker designs an eight-step Christian recovery program geared toward enjoying spiritual freedom from hurts, hang-ups and bad habits. Baker’s book is based on Warren’s sermon series Road to Recovery, which has been tested in the lives of more than 400,000 people in 10,000 churches. Baker’s eight steps to spiritual freedom (admitting need, getting help, letting go, coming clean, making changes, repairing relationships, maintaining momentum and recycling pain) promise to help Christians overcome many kinds of addictive behaviors.

Kauffman, Richard A. 2001. “Overcoming Addictions.” Christianity Today 45, no. 4: p88.

Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost (accessed November 18, 2010).

This article presents several quotations that address the issue of overcoming addiction.


Carter, Les. 2009. Grace and divorce: God’s healing gift to those whose marriages fall short.

San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass. ISBN-10: 047049011X

Dr. Carter calls for all Christians to remember that each of us falls short of living the perfect Christian life and thus grace is needed in dealing with divorcees’. His book encourages divorcees’ to go through the cycle of grieving, but the counselor will have to remind the counselee that they are still to uphold Christian principles in dealing with their grief.

Clinton, Timothy E. 1997. Before a bad goodbye: How to turn your marriage around.

Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson. ISBN-10: 0849937434

This book hopes to aid couples in reconciling their marriages through treating each other with respect, loving each other selflessly and forgiveness.

Appendix H

Relational Style Action Plan

This Action Plan Worksheet will provide material for the final project; complete the following 17 items with sufficient detail (citations/references) to service the writing of Part 2: The Counselor’s Style. Take advantage of this growth and development opportunity to integrate insights from the readings into your action plan. Review all 3 Self-Assessments and the Power of Connections’ document very carefully and prayerfully develop a plan to enhance your relational style under the influence of an overarching goal for life. Continue working on the action plan throughout the course (strive to complete by end of Week 6) and place it in the Appendix of the Final Project. It would be helpful to share your plan with a mentor(s) to support and secure relocation (moving from where you are to where you need to be under the influence of your overarching goal for life) desired.

1) My overarching goal for life is: to become an imitator of Christ by presenting my body as living sacrifice for complete service to God (Rom. 12:1-2) in order that those around me might be influenced to live godly lives so that they might spend eternity with God in Heaven (1 Cor. 9:24-27).

2) My three highest spiritual gift tendencies are: Encouraging/Exhorting (58), Mercy (55) and Serving (50). If these are all considered first place, then my second highest are: Perceiving/Prophecy (48) and Teaching (45) followed by Administering/Leading and Giving both (44). This means I also tend to be encouraging, caring and selfless.

3) The overuse of these gifts sometimes makes me talkative, overly sensitive, and unable to say no even when overloaded.

4) My highest personality profile plotting point in Graph 1: S Graph 2: C/S

This means I tend to be more passive, steady and stable, loyal and friendly, and utilize strong people skills. My 360 interviews determine that I was a beaver, which means I tend to be Analytical, self-disciplined, industrious, organized, aesthetic, sacrificing, moody, self-centered, touchy, negative, unsociable, critical, and revengeful (Wired. My Myers-Briggs Type is ISFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) means that above all I desire to serve other, I am idealist and a doer that champions the causes of the less fortunate.

5) The overuse of this type sometimes allows for me to be taken advantage of by others and take too long to make decisions. As a beaver, I sometimes am moody, unsociable and self-centered.

6) My most obvious combination personality and spiritual gift type (relational style) is: C- calculating as a precise exhorter, a competent individual who cares about the sufferings of others (showering mercy) and a critical thinker as a teacher.

7) To communicate and relate with others more effectively I should carefully choose my words and not be so judgmental and try to be more encouraging and patient. I need to be careful that the care I show is not perceived as weakness or enabling.

8) My greatest blessing and/ or struggle concerning my giftedness is knowing that what I have to say is valuable and worthy to be heard. I also must not be afraid to say it unless I am backed into a corner.

9) I should guard or improve my following spiritual gift tendencies agreeing to take on more than I can handle and performing tasks just because no one else will do them.

10) I should guard or improve my following personality tendencies of being overly cautious and overly self sacrificing.

11) I will check/control my relational style, in order to demonstrate fit with a D relational style, through the following strategy: I will provide them with choices and not give them more information than necessary, trust them to do a good job and avoid conflict since they thrive off of challenge. This type of relational style would like to get into a conflict so that they may exert control over situations. So remaining calm and forceful, but humble will be a good motivator for this type of personality.

12) I will check/control my relational style, in order to demonstrate fit with an I relational style, through the following strategy: I need to listen to what he or she is saying without being critical and recognize their strengths in a friendly way. I also need to be cautious of the amount of details I give them. I know that this type of relational style thrives on praise, so as he or she progresses through the issue I will make sure that I give adequate praise.

13) I will check/control my relational style, in order to demonstrate fit with a C relational style, through the following strategy: I will give specific instructions with enough details for them to ponder over and make the best decision for themselves. I will make sure that the homework he or she is given require the use of logic and the details that are given. This way he or she feels comfortable.

14) I will check/control my relational style, in order to demonstrate fit with a S relational style, through the following strategy: I will be friendly, supportive and relaxed and let them determine the pace of the conversation.  I will let the S personality know that I will walk through the process side by side, but that I cannot do the work for them. I would motivate the S by being soft spoken and being the encourager. The S type needs to be valued and needs to be supported. So I would show my support by affirming the work that is being done. With this affirmation the S type will desire to do more to move towards wholeness.

15) To grow more spiritually, I will utilize the following spiritual disciplines prayer, Bible study, praise and worship along with Christian meditation. I will also look at my budget so I can figure out how to better financially support the church’s ministries.

16) To avoid and resolve conflicts more effectively, I will covenant with God to engage the following protocol: say quick one-line prayers before speaking to others when I feel shrinking away from conflict and utilize my gift of encouragement more.

17) My prayer in discovering my relational style and demonstrating fit through my life and profession/ministry is: Heavenly Father, help me to recognize that everyone is fearfully and wonderfully made and deserving of love and forgiveness as am I. Please help me to see others as you see them, and exude love, warmth and mercy. Help me to understand my value is simply because You created me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.


Appendix I

Journal Entries

Week 1

WK1 #2

Reference: According to Benner (2003), “At least five forms of soul care should be a part of the life of every Christian church: Christian friendship, pastoral ministry, pastoral care, pastoral counseling, and spiritual direction.” (16).

Reflection: This list of five types of soul care that should be available in the Christian church is just that the bare minimum. It list ways in which the church can provide the care that is required in the community both saved and unsaved. If Christian friendship is extended to the unsaved then this could be and inroads with that person to help them realize that they need Christ in their lives.

Relocation: As I move through this learning journey, dear Holy Spirit help me to remember that one of the Christian friendship is very easy to extend to everyone with whom I come in contact. I am seeking favor from God to be able to offer this friendship in spite of my circumstances and situations. I often get too wrapped up in my own situations and lose sight of how blessed I am and how I should be blessing others. I ask for crystal clear leading of the Holy Spirit as I continue to grow in the Spirit and find various ways to implement the list of five forms of soul care under my control. I will be memorizing Proverbs 17:17 which states, “A friend loves at all times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity.”

Week 2

WK2 #2

Reference: According to Benner (2003), “The three stages of strategic pastoral counseling can be described as encounter, engagement, and disengagement.” (73).

Reflection: I did not know that these were the stages of this type of counseling. But it makes of great deal of sense. It seems logical that these are the three stages. It requires an encounter so that the pastor and parishioner know that there is a need. Then they engage to figure out what the need actually is and do the work required to meet the need and then they part ways. This is an amazing process.

Relocation: As I move through this learning journey, dear Holy Spirit help me to learn and grow through the stages of strategic pastoral counseling. I want to be able to embrace this approach to because it seems to be beneficial to those who utilize and embrace the process. I am looking to grow and learn how to help those who are around me. I ask for crystal clear leading of the Holy Spirit as I continue to grow in the Spirit.

Week 3

WK3 #1

Reference: Kollar states, “Because of our fixed paradigms we often miss out on discovering future possibilities. Unexpected information is ignored or twisted to fit old notions. Sometimes it seems invisible. We are blind to creative solutions. Our paradigms have the power to keep us from hearing and seeing what could happen. This results in personal limitations, a kind of intellectual myopia” (p. 16).

Reflection: This quote made me realize how we see the world can often limit how we live in the world. We as humans have a set of beliefs that often limit the possibilities that God places before us. How is it that we approach these presuppositions so that we are not inherently limiting ourselves?

Relocation: As I move through this learning journey, dear Holy Spirit I need you to lead and guide me through the process of exploring my own personal paradigms that are limiting my potential. In doing this I will be able to be more open minded and see things as God intends instead of through my own presuppositions. I will be able to help people see what their limiting factors are and help them to seek God in overcoming those factors. I am going to memorize Romans 8:28 because I need to realize that even those things that I limit myself with God can workout for my good.

Week 4

WK4 #3

Reference: Petersen states, “Some of us have learned that certain emotions, like anger, hate, or lust are taboo So when we have such feelings, we can’t accept those words to describe them. …When you are listening to people who resist specific labels for their emotions, poke around gently and experiment, until you find words they are comfortable using to describe their feelings” (p. 131-132).

Reflection: This quote brings me to one of the areas that I have to work on. I tend to call things exactly the way I see them. So if I see lust I call it lust, not just for other, but with myself as well. So Petersen has given me an extra tool for the tool belt of effective counseling. I can now see the benefit of finding a gentler way of getting to core of the matter without being so direct. This approach will help me to be sensitive to the needs of others.

Relocation: As I move through this learning journey, dear Holy Spirit help me to be honest without being blatant. I know that at times I tend to call a spade a spade, but that is not always the right method. Help me to see when others are resistant to my straight forward approach and give me the ability to adjust as needed. Give me the ability to hear clearly the words that are being said as well as those not being said. I want to have the spirit of Jesus as He gave counsel to all those with whom He came in contact. This week I will focus on being patient and kind in my listening.

Week 5

WK5 #2

Reference: Cloud states, ““Déjà Vu people get rid of bad stuff. Period. Sometimes quick and sometimes through a process, but they get rid of it. They get it out of their hair, off their plate, out of their souls, and out of their lives”(p. 45).

Reflection: This quote really hits home for me more on a personal level than on an informational level. One of the things I struggle most with is letting go of people. Relationships are not my strong suite. More specifically male/female relationships give me the most trouble. I do not do a good job of ending relationships even when I know they are hindering my life. So this particular journal entry is about learning how do remove this negative energy from my own life. I know that there is application of all the things that I am learning in this class. I however, love when God points out to me something that He desires me to work on in the process of preparing me for my life ministry. This is one of those times. Part of my issue with letting go is dealing with my abandonment issues and in order to be successful I must clean this particular wond.

Relocation: As I move through this learning journey, dear Holy Spirit I need you to help me let go not only of people but of the negative energy that bad relationships of the past have caused. I desired to deal openly and honestly with this issue. I desire to have those positive relationships in my life be the example of what to do. I want to let go of those relationships that provide negative energy and I need you Holy Spirit to guide me through this process.

Week 6

WK6 #1

Reference: Kollar states, “Remember that ongoing encouraging feedback helps to create a counseling environment that is affirming, hopeful and optimistic. …The counselor encourages an atmosphere of H.O.P.E. – i.e., a Hopeful, Optimistic, Positive, and Expectant counseling climate” (p. 161).

Reflection: This quote helps me to realize that keeping this type of environment will help the counselee develop a positive attitude toward the process on which we are about to embark. When the counselee is expectant of a positive outcome he or she will be more willing to put in the work required so that he or she may achieve the goal. Keeping H.O.P.E. working in the counseling process is critical and it will help the counselee greatly.

Relocation: As I move through this learning journey, dear Holy Spirit help me to be able to work H.O.P.E. into all that I do. Not just the counseling process, but my daily life. I need you to lead and guide me through the process H.O.P.E. and to point out immediately when I am straying from that path. Holy Spirit you are completely in control of the counseling process and I am surrendered to your will. Help me to share this with the counselee. So please give me the wisdom to live this H.O.P.E. in actions so that others may see you through me. Help me to continue to build a reading list that will also help provide H.O.P.E. I am going to memorize Jeremiah 29:11 which states, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This Scripture will help me stay mindful of what hope I have in my life as well as the hope that we all have because of Jesus.

Week 7

WK7 #1

Reference: 8 Habits states, “The real key to growing and multiplying a cell group lies in the practice of eight simple habits outside the group meeting. I began asking the leaders I coached to adopt these habits and build them into their weekly schedules. Without exception, those who did these habits became highly effective leaders who grew and multiplied their groups. And those who did not did not. ” (p. 1).

Reflection: As a small group leader this quote made me realize it is imperative that I begin to practice the 8 habits. I have seen my small group grow and multiply, but not to the level that I know it could. It is funny because each of my small group members is more the capable of leading a small group. They have a solid relationship with God and are all processing through their own personal issues. However, they do not want to venture out. I see that as partially my failure. It is the C/S in me the fixer that may be hindering that particular part of the process. So I am looking forward to reading incorporating the eight principals into my own personal small group leadership.

Relocation: As I move through this learning journey, dear Holy Spirit I need you to lead and guide me through the process of incorporating the 8 habits into my life. I want to be a better small group leader and I believe the 8 habits will help me to accomplish this goal. I also believe that it will help me to be a more effective counselor. Help me to incorporate the 8 steps one at a time so that I do not become overwhelmed. Provide me with opportunities to put each habit to the test in my life.




The following represents an additive grading rubric. Instead of beginning with 100 and losing points for errors, you begin with a 0 and earn points for your work. In determining your grade, three questions will be asked:


INTRODUCTION OF SBBPC? Question Value: 15 PointsMCj04244660000[1]

· Abstract: Did it introduce context (2), overarching goal (2), and

identify care seeker (2)? Points: 6

· Table of Contents: Organized with appropriate headings &

subheadings (4), References (1), Appendix (Appendices

identified) (2), and Grading Guideline (2)? Points: 9

PART 1 OF SBBPC: The Counseling Setting? Question Value: 30 PointsMCj04244660000[1]

· Introduction: Overview of SBBPC w/rationale (5) & assumptions (5) Points: 10

· Pre-session Package: Essential elements explained (2), adequately

prepared (2) & located in Appendix (6): Overview of

SBBPC; Statement of Beliefs and/or Worldview; Ethical

Guidelines; Intake Form(s); Informed Consent; and Referral

Process? Points: 10

· Annotated References of 5 subjects: 3 Required – grief, anger, forgiveness;

2 student’s choice ; and 10 annotated entries/2 per subject? Points: 5

· Journal: Minimum of 7 substantive entries (Wk 1-7 = 1 per week) Points: 5

PART 2 OF SBBPC: The Counselor’s Style? Question Value: 10 PointsMCj04244660000[1]

· Identified relational language, described relational style (integrated

assessments and course materials)? Points: 5

· Explained plan for controlling Relational Style utilizing course resources

and placed Action Plan in Appendix? Points: 5

PART 3 OF SBBPC: The Counseling Strategy/Structure? Question Value: 20 PointsMCj04244660000[1]

· P1: Use of assumptions, clear distinction of phase, aim, role and goal,

skill set used to demonstrate fit in aligning w/counselee’s style? Points: 5

· P2: Use of assumptions, clear distinction of phase, aim, role and goal,

pastoral assessment, skill set used in collaborative goal description and

identification of strengths and resources? Points: 5

· P3: Use of assumptions, clear distinction of phase, aim, role and goal,

skill set used in collaborative development of vision clarification? Points: 5

· P4: Use of assumptions, clear distinction of phase, aim, role and goal,

skill set used in consolidating change, and partnerships activated to

support and secure change? Points: 5

PART 4 OF SBBPC: The Counseling Summation? Question Value: 24/25 Points

· Discussed the versatility of the supportive feedback technique? Points: 5

· Developed a procedure for reflexive praxis, identified/secured a

Mentor/Friend, and developed debriefing guidelines? Points: 10

· SBBPC project was written according to graduate-level expectations, Comment by Dwight Rice: minimal proofreading glitches

Formatted according to Turabian (7e) Reference Style Guidelines,

utilized required resources and at least two secondary sources,

Appendices (single-spaced) and consisted of no more than 40 pages

(in its entirety)? Points: 9/10

Grade: 99 Comments: Kai…I’m so pleased with what you’ve accomplished in this project. You have definitely built a strong pastoral counseling platform from which to make an eternal difference. Continue to feed the project with truths, insights, and techniques in tandem with our Wonderful Counselor under the authority of the Word of God within a community of accountability and watch it grow with eternal significance. May your way find balance and often interrupt heaven!!!


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