Fumblerules of Writing

The Fumblerules of Writing           Each of these rules illustrates the mistake that it addresses.  The rule is valid, but the sentence errs. For that reason, the columnist William Safire has dubbed these “The Fumblerules of Writing.”                  The Fumblerules of Grammar                  *     Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.         *     Don’t use no double negatives.         *     Verbs has to agree with their subjects.         *     No sentence fragments.         *     Proof read carefully to see if you any words out.         *     A writer must not shift your point of view.         *     Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.         *     Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.         *     Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have snuck in the language.         *     Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.         *     Write all adverbial forms correct.                  The Fumblerules of Punctuation                  *     Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn’t.         *     Reserve the apostrophe for it’s proper use and omit it when its not needed.         *     Avoid commas, that are not necessary.         *     Avoid overuse of “quotation “marks.””””         *     Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!!!         *     Hyphenate between syllables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.                  The Fumblerules of Style and Diction                  *     Never use a long word when you can use a diminutive one.         *   Be more or less specific.         *   The passive voice should be avoided.         *     Do not put statements in the negative form.         *     If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.         *     If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.         *     Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.         *     Don’t string too many prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.         *     Always pick on the correct idiom.         *     Eschew dialect, irregardless.         *     It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.         *     As Ralph Waldo Emerson said,”I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”         *     Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixed metaphors.         *     Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.         *     Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.         *     Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.

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