The Family Crucible: The Intense Experience of Family Therapy In The Family Crucible, a unique way of looking at family therapy is used. This approach probably would not be something that would be done by therapist now. The more that we study systemic approaches the less I believe that there are any individual problems. With that being said there is a long reach that effects of parenting has on a child. * . Describe how Carolyn and David fit in terms of authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive forms of parenting. * Authoritative parents set clear and consistent limits for children.
They are flexible but firm, which leads to children who are responsible, cooperative, and self reliant. * There are almost as many parenting “styles” in the world as there are parents. However, most experts have classified parenting styles into three main categories: authoritarian, permissive and authoritative. If you are aiming to raise a self-reliant, pleasant, well-behaved child, the authoritative parent will generally have the most success. * What is Authoritative Parenting? * Authoritative parents exercise control over their children, without being controlling.
They set rules and guidelines that they expect children to follow. But they also recognize that sometimes flexibility is called for. Authoritative parents often express love and affection to their children, without fear that such expressions of emotion may affect their ability to discipline. As their children get older, authoritative parents encourage more responsibility and freedom, within well-outlined rules. The American Academy of Pediatrics and other children’s health organizations state that children of authoritative parents usually grow up to be independent, socially successful, and respectful of authority. This style is sometimes also referred to as an indulgent or non-directive parenting style
* The inconsistency of the permissive parenting style often leaves devoted parents grieving for their parenting mistakes. *
Permissive parents have the belief that really showing their child love and feeling their love, in return, is their ultimate goal in parenting.
* They do love their children and are highly bonded to them. But their relationship is one of equals rather than as parents to children. *
To gain compliance from their children they will often resort to gift giving and even out right ribery, rather than setting boundaries and expecting obedience.
* Permissive means to be lenient, liberal, lax and hands-off. During the 1960s, developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind described three different types of parenting styles based on her researcher with preschool-age children. One of the main parenting styles identified by Baumrind is known as the authoritarian parenting style. Authoritarian parents have high expectations of their children and have very strict rules that they expect to be followed unconditionally.
According to Baumrind, these parents “are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation. ” People with this parenting style often utilize punishment rather than discipline, but are not willing or able to explain the reasoning behind their rules. Characteristics of the Authoritarian Parenting Style Authoritarian parents: * Have strict rules and expectations. * Very demanding, but not responsive. * Don’t express much warmth or nurturing. * Utilize punishments with little or no explanation. Don’t give children choices or options. The Effects of Authoritarian Parenting Parenting styles have been associated with a variety of child outcomes including social skills and academic performance. The children of authoritarian parents: * Tend to associate obedience and success with love. * Some children display more aggressive behavior outside the home. * Others may act fearful or overly shy around others. * Often have lower self-esteem. * Have difficulty in social situations.
Understanding Authoritarian Parenting
Because authoritarian parents expect absolute obedience, children raised in such settings are typically very good at following rules. However, they may lack self-discipline. Unlike children raised by authoritative parents, children raised by authoritarian parents are not encouraged to explore and act independently, so they never really learn how to set their own limits and personal standards. While developmental experts agree that rules and boundaries are important for children to have, most believe that authoritarian parenting is too punitive and lacks the warmth, unconditional love and nurturing that children need.
An historical overview. Developmental Psychology, 28, 1006-1017. Santrock, J. W. (2007). A topical approach to life-span development, third Ed. New York: McGraw-Hill. I believe the authors’ were instrumental in providing a clear example of what the family really needed and searched for. The family needed to realize that in order for the family to make a real change they need to utilize a structure that included the entire family. They also needed to know that the therapists were completely serious and in control. Their stance was something I could completely agree upon. However, I do not agree that the family was trying to question their authority or provide a strategy to defeat the new system in which they were beginning to enter.
Barring this, the authors’ posed a series of questions that they strongly believed the family was thinking. Did Don really wonder “will the family undertake changing the whole family without me? ” Therefore, I did not agree with the aspect of “we know what you’re thinking”. I felt that this was too deep of an approach. The basic underlining problem of the family was that they did not know how to communicate and could not establish their own structure to allow their family system to operate in harmony.
Another aspect of the text that I thought was fundamental and provided me with a different outlook on approaching a perceived problem was the way in which the two therapists began the therapy. The family entered into therapy by believing that Claudia was their entire problem and that her actions alone were the root of their dilemma. However, she was just the perceived problem. And in order for the parents to see that Claudia was only the perceived problem the therapists reversed the blame that the parents had projected on to their daughter.
I believe this technique was most attractive. Through the art of helping the family to view their situation differently, the therapists initiated a second-order change allowing the family to step outside their norm and see that their failure in marriage was affecting their parenting. Thus, the therapists gave Claudia meaning while reducing her feeling of failure and at the same time proposed the more serious problem that the parents had slowly began drifting away from each other and suffered the impasse of a deadening marriage.
In my view, once the fundamental problem of the marriage was int