Edit this paper based on comments and annotations

I’m studying for my Writing class and don’t understand how to answer this. Can you help me study?

I really enjoyed reading your first draft! The introduction was a great attention-grabber. Defining terms and certain concepts make it easier for the readers to understand and I believe you did an excellent job on that. I think the main idea of your paper was education inequality (race-based) and its possible solutions of this issue. You were clear with the solutions you suggested and there were also some examples you gave for the readers to understand. Suggestions:The second paragraph of your paper felt a bit repetitive and I believe you can edit this by adding more analysis to it. Overall, great first draft!

This is a great start ! I have made annotations on the side of your paper discussing ways in which you could improve your essay.

Critical Thinking & Analysis:

Needs Improvement

The approach is occasionally adequate; some evidence of thinking/analysis, or an attempt at analysis, is evident; the ideas offered are intermittently delineated, thought-through, and appropriate to the task; the writer attempts to show awareness of at least one other facet or perspective; the writer sporadically shows awareness of the disciplinary discourse and includes content that is relevant to the disciplinary audience.


Use of Evidence:

Needs Improvement

Evidence/sources may not fully support the key message or have not been fully used appropriately, some evidence of disciplinary expectations for sources/research are evident; evidence/sources are presented with some degree of clarity, with some misreading or simplistic reading; the evidence/sources, including data tables or other visuals, may overwhelm rather than contribute to the central point. Uses 5-9 sources (5 must be peer-reviewed journal articles)

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Edit this paper based on comments and annotations

I’m studying for my Writing class and don’t understand how to answer this. Can you help me study?

I really enjoyed reading your first draft! The introduction was a great attention-grabber. Defining terms and certain concepts make it easier for the readers to understand and I believe you did an excellent job on that. I think the main idea of your paper was education inequality (race-based) and its possible solutions of this issue. You were clear with the solutions you suggested and there were also some examples you gave for the readers to understand. Suggestions:The second paragraph of your paper felt a bit repetitive and I believe you can edit this by adding more analysis to it. Overall, great first draft!

This is a great start ! I have made annotations on the side of your paper discussing ways in which you could improve your essay.

Critical Thinking & Analysis:

Needs Improvement

The approach is occasionally adequate; some evidence of thinking/analysis, or an attempt at analysis, is evident; the ideas offered are intermittently delineated, thought-through, and appropriate to the task; the writer attempts to show awareness of at least one other facet or perspective; the writer sporadically shows awareness of the disciplinary discourse and includes content that is relevant to the disciplinary audience.


Use of Evidence:

Needs Improvement

Evidence/sources may not fully support the key message or have not been fully used appropriately, some evidence of disciplinary expectations for sources/research are evident; evidence/sources are presented with some degree of clarity, with some misreading or simplistic reading; the evidence/sources, including data tables or other visuals, may overwhelm rather than contribute to the central point. Uses 5-9 sources (5 must be peer-reviewed journal articles)

Get 20% discount on your first order with us. Use code: GET20

CHOOSE YOUR WRITER