Basic Listening Skills for a

I’m working on a Psychology question and need guidance to help me study.

What were the behaviors of the therapist in the video that you just watched that would demonstrate poor listening skills?

So, Amanda, what would you like to talk about today?

So there’s kind of been a situation with my boyfriend Joaquin who I told you about in the last session.

So basically what happened was I don’t have a car right now, so he picked me up from work the other day. And we went back to his house, and we ordered food. And we were just sitting on his couch, and he was like, OK, I’m going to go take a shower. So he goes and takes a shower. And I was starving because I haven’t eaten all day, and I don’t get to go to lunch because my boss is just intense. So I didn’t get to go to lunch.

So I was starving, so I looked on his phone to see when the food was coming. And he gets a text from Mila, who’s the girl– it’s one of his clients at work because he’s– he works at a gym, and it’s one of his clients. And so I told him a long time ago when we’ve already run into this, when she was trying to reach out to him– and I know she flirts with him. I’ve told him I’m not comfortable with her reaching out to you, and I’m not comfortable with you guys talking.

So let me see if I– you looked at his phone?

Yeah. Well, I looked at his phone because I was trying to see when the food was coming to his house. So when I saw that she texted him, and he responded to her, it was– I mean– it was just really hurtful, right? Because I’ve already had this conversation with him. I’ve said, this person makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like when you talk to this person.

So he comes out of the shower, and I confront him. And I was like, listen–

Right after he got out of the shower?

Yeah– well, yeah, because I didn’t want it to go on. I mean, I didn’t want to continue to feel like– I mean, yeah. I was like, I have to talk to you about this. You texted this girl Mila, and– you know– I’m not comfortable with that. I’ve told you she makes me uncomfortable. I think she’s flirting with you, and he doesn’t see it because he just doesn’t.

So you were feeling very sad?

No, I was actually more angry. I was more angry because I was like, this is a conversation we’ve had before, and you don’t respect me and my feelings because I’ve told you this person makes me uncomfortable. If this person did reach out to or talk to you, let me know. Say something to me. Let me know. Don’t just go behind my back and respond.

So–

So you’re a very jealous person?

Uh– OK. That seems like a little– no, I’m not a jealous person. I’m not a jealous person. I looked at his phone because– I wasn’t looking to look through his things.

I’m just trying to understand. What’s wrong with a guy talking to clients on text?

I’ve expressed to him that that makes me uncomfortable. So I’m not really sure how– why we would get into what’s inappropriate about it. It makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t want him texting his clients if they’re female. So that is something I don’t want.

So it’d be OK if it was a male?

I mean, yeah, it would be OK if it was a male. I have set boundaries in this relationship. I am uncomfortable with him texting this person. He should let me know if this person’s reaching out to him.

So– anyways, to finish the story– sorry. OK. Uh–

So where is this going? Like, what’s happening? What’s the current situation with you and George?

His name’s Joaquin.

So–

So you’re angry.

Yeah.

Right now?

I was– no. I’m not so angry as confused.

So you’re–

I feel like I’m–

–confused?

What?

You’re making me confused. So you looked at his phone. You saw that he was texting a woman who was a client. So tell me more. Continue this story.

I’m actually OK, I think. Yeah. I don’t really want to continue to go on. I just– yeah. I’m OK.

So, see? There was no problem.

Yeah. I’m not sure that this is really working out. Sorry. 

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